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Break Up with Bad Internet: It’s Not You... It’s Them

Break Up with Bad Internet: It’s Not You... It’s Them

Apr 12, 2024

Are you feeling stuck in a less-than-satisfying relationship with your internet provider? Well, you're not alone. Many of us have been there, blindly loyal to an internet that doesn't quite love us back. But fear not, my bandwidth-burdened friends, for I bring you ten oh-so-true reasons why you should swipe left on your subpar service. Let’s dive into the heart of the matter, one pun at a time.

1. The Ghosting

Nothing’s worse than your internet disappearing when you need it most—during that final episode cliffhanger or right before clicking "submit" on a work project. If your connection is more unpredictable than a text from an ex at 2 AM, it might be time to ghost them for good.

2. The Slow Dance

While slow dancing can be romantic, a slow buffering circle isn’t. If you spend more time watching your screen load than actually streaming, your internet’s tempo is too slow for your lifestyle groove. Our speeds are up to 125x faster than traditional cable or DSL.

3. Commitment Issues

Does your internet balk at commitment? Here one second (during the technician's visit) and throttled the next? You deserve a reliable partner that gives you consistent speeds, not just a honeymoon phase. 

4. The Blame Game

Every time you call customer service, they say it’s not them, it’s you—your router placement, your devices, maybe even your choice of wall color. But really, shouldn’t they be strong enough to reach you through a little drywall?

5. The Expensive Taste

Is your internet burning a hole in your wallet with charges for this and fees for that? If you’re paying champagne prices for box-wine quality, it’s time to find a provider that values affordability and transparency.

6. The Jealous Type

Does your internet demand exclusivity, locking you into long-term contracts with hefty breakup fees? A confident provider doesn’t need to chain you down to win your loyalty.

7. Not Meeting the Parents

If your internet can’t handle a Zoom call with the parents without freezing every five seconds, how can it support you through life’s major milestones? Your family might start thinking you’re still into dial-up.

8. It’s Complicated

Navigating your internet settings shouldn’t feel like solving a Rubik's cube. If changing your Wi-Fi password requires a PhD in cryptology, maybe it’s time for a less complicated relationship.

9. Say “Yes” to Reliability

Your internet should be just as dependable. Why stick with someone that’s always down when you need them the most? Choose a partner that stands by you—rain or shine, peak hours or not.

10. It Doesn’t Get You

Your internet should understand and support your streaming, gaming, and browsing habits. If your current provider doesn’t get your needs, it’s time to find one that does.

Say goodbye to the heartaches of yesteryear and hello to a new love story with blazing speeds, reliable service, and customer care that actually cares. It's not you—it really was them. Now, let’s start our new 'connection' on the right click. Don’t settle for less, you deserve more!

Switch to NOVOS FiBER today.